Philosiphy
by Touga of the Wind
Summary: She wanted something he didn't understand. He needed her to give something she couldn't.


I don't anything except my laptop and a wild imagination

"No, you don't get it, thats why I'm telling you. You think you get it, which isn't the same as actually getting it. Get it?"

-Kakashi

* * *

><p>"It was always you," he said in that cold, impassive, tone. It is funny how she always imagined him telling her that, proclaiming his love for her- but she knows better now. "No one else will have me."<p>

Ah. There it was.

She should have known. This wasn't about her feelings or hopes, it was merely a business transaction.

She would be a fool to accept this offer.

A faint plastic smile curled on her lips.

"Alright."

They announced their engagement the next day. Naruto was ecstatic, Ino was envious, and Sai was happy for her, but those who looked deeper saw the truth: She didn't want this.

Over the months she began to change. Her smiles were dimmer, the spark in her eyes gone; she was a dull version of her original self.

It was on the eve before her wedding when her ex-sensei found her on the Hokage monument. Kakashi sat next to her, feet dangling off the fourth's hair.

"Who am I?" She asked suddenly, staring at the village.

"You tell me."

He heard her laugh dryly, finally turning to face for the first time tonight.

"I used to be one of the best medics, I use to be confident," she had a bitter smile on that once bright and lovely face, her voice growing small," I used to…I used to love."

"Are you still those things?" He questioned.

"I don't know anymore."

He waited patiently for her to continued, pretending to read his book. When she finally spoke, her voice was weak and frail. This wasn't the Sakura who could knock down mountains with her fists, who could bring a person from the brink a death without breaking a sweat, this wasn't the girl-no, _woman_- who was so strong.

No, this wasn't her; this was a hollow replica of the original, a _fake_.

"Who are you doing this for Sakura?" He finally asked after waiting several minutes, he voice soft. He knew he was walking on thin ice when questioning her and one wrong move would cause her to further regress and completely shut off.

"At first, I thought I was doing it for me. I loved-_love_ him (_Lair_) and I want him to be happy. He deserves it after all he's been through."

"Do you think you deserve happiness as well?"

"Yes. What kind of question is that, sensei?" She replied with a small smile.

"Are you happy?"

"Of course."

_Lair!_

"He treats me well, buys me things and we go out to places..." she said and then added softly," He wants a family too, a huge one."

Not once did she mention that he loves her, he noticed and apparently she noticed it as well. She knows and yet, she still is going to go through with this. A few more questions, she would crack, they both knew it. She wanted him to say it though, _needed_ him to say what she wanted to since he proposed.

"You don't have to marry Sasuke."

And that was it. The safety walls crumbled.

A tear slid down her pale cheek, then another and another, until she was full out sobbing. That night Kakashi held her like he did back then when she was twelve and no one was there for her left.

The next day Sakura woke up from her bed, got ready and made her way down the streets, ignoring the shouts of congratulations and good lucks and went inside the flower shop. She found Ino in her room where she was to get ready.

"Hey Forehead, what toke you so long! I was about to sic Naruto to get yo-hey…have you been crying? Your eyes are all puffy!"

Sakura smiled at her friend and nodded, "Yeah, I just, uh, stubbed my toe on the way here."

Ino didn't look convinced but let the topic drop, but immediately brightened when she grabbed a black dress bag. "Guess what this is?" She singed-songed.

Sakura tried to smile, she really did, but it was too painful.

"My wedding kimono."

Ino nodded happily while taking the said garment out, "I can't believe Sasuke bought this for you, it was _really_ expensive…" Sakura tuned her out and just stared at it. This was it. The last day she was ever going to be called Haruno again. She felt like throwing-up.

Ino helped her put on the kimono, talking animatedly about love and happiness. Those didn't exist anymore to Sakura; only obedience and regret.

"Oh Sakura! You look so beautiful!"

She really did. The white wedding kimono had ivory and light pink cranes embroidered on the silk with light purple leaves and branches. The bottom hem and color was a deep red and her hair was pulled up in a bunkintakashimada with flowers of red, pink, and white.

She never felt so ugly in her life.

"Ino," she with a soft careful tone," please give me a minute alone." Ino nodded uncertainly, not knowing what was wrong with her friend and left the room. She turned around and looked at her reflection with detached eyes. Her face was covered with white make-up and, her hair had lost that vibrant pink and now was a dull rose-color. Her eyes seemed to have lost that spark, that _life_ once harnessed.

She didn't recognize the face in the mirror looking back at her.

_She needed to leave._

"Hey, Forehead! Time to go!" She felt someone grabbed her wrist and drag her away and ushered her into the carriage to their destination. Ino was chatting with Hinata and TenTen about something, but Sakura didn't have it in her to join in the conversation.

"Sakura, you really should start frowning, people might start to think you didn't actually want to marry Sasuke," Tenten said. She was only teasing, Sakura knew that, but that didn't stop her from thinking how many people actually thought about that, how many didn't stop her before it was too late.

They reached the Shinto Shrine far too quickly for Sakura tastes. The girls helped her get out of the carriage, Ino shouting at them sternly. "Do not get one speck of dirt on the kimono! I mean it!" while gathering the ends of the white fabric in her hands. Shizune ushered into a waiting room, fussing over her hair and dress.

_She needed to get away from here._

Then the music started. Sakura took in a shaky breath and started to make her way out of the room. The room was decorated in elaborate red and golds, flowers provided by Ino's flower shop hung from the ceiling and chairs. Women wore colorful kimonos with long flowing butterfly sleeves, men wore traditional yukatas; it truly was a sight to behold.

She could only stare at the man in front of her.

He wore a black Hakama over a full-length kimono with a white pinstripe, split between the legs like pants. The Uchiha symbol was proudly displayed on his back and shoulder. She keep hearing Kakashi's words echoing in her head, replaying over and over again like a mantra.

"_You don't have to marry Sasuke."_

She sat on tatami mats beside him, staring at his face; his passive, emotionless face. He was still handsome after all those years, but he was so, so cold.

"_Who are you doing this for?"_

She was doing it for him. For the boy who had to grow up at such a young age, who had demons that still haunted him, who was so…_lonely_- but now he's a man. A man who was no longer the boy she loved. No, she did not love him anymore, it was obvious, but she was willing to sacrifice her happiness for him, he deserved it.

The sake was served and Sakura raised the cup to her lips.

"_Do you think you deserve happiness as well?"_

She froze, the cup inches away from her mouth. Sasuke looked at her with confusion and irritation.

"Is something wrong?" The priest asked politely.

"_Are you happy?"_

Realization hit her.

No, she wasn't. She wanted to scream in frustration and anger; she wanted to cry at the situation she was forced in; she really, _really_ wanted to punch him in the face.

"What are you doing, Sakura. Drink the damn sake," he hissed, now fully annoyed. His onyx eyes narrowed when she merely stared through him.

"_You don't have to marry Sasuke."_

She looked at the cup in her hands, signifying their bond if she were to take a sip. Sakura brought it closer to her lips-

And threw it on the ground, shattering the cup into thousands of shards.

Gasps could be heard throughout the room, along with a pair of clapping hands. Sasuke could only stare at the cup and then back at her with surprise, and then glared icily at her retreating figure.

"What the hell do you think you're doing!" he shouted, his face scrunching up in anger.

"What I should have done in the beginning," she fired back. He grabbed her wrist none too gently and spun her around face him, Sharigan blazing in fury. The look caused her to somewhat reassess why she was even with him in the first place.

"I can't make you happy- I _won't _make you happy." He voice was soft but it was laced with conviction. They stared at each other for what seemed ages until he loosened his grip. With that, she was out of his grasp and walked away, smiling a genuine smile in months.

She was free.

* * *

><p>So there you go. I tried to make the wedding ceremony as realistic as possible. The ceremony they ere doing is called "San-san-kudo," a ceremony of three-times-three exchange of nuptial cups, is performed by the bridegroom and bride. Drinks of "Sake" are then exchanged between members and close relatives of the both families to signify their union through the wedding. I only got to the first exchange and didn't really want to continue further with the wedding.<p>

Here's somethings you need to know in this story:

1. Gaara still has his demon (it plays a major part in the plot)

2. I'm followng more or less a canon timeline.

3. Naruto brought back Sasuke after first meeting him in three years.

(which will explain number 4.)

4. Itachi is alive and kicking. He also plays a importat role...plus I couldn't kill him. He didn't deserve to die. (You suck Sasuke)

5. This story will not be fast. I like character development and a good plot so expect me to take my time on updates, but I will go as fast as I can.

6. Which also reminds me. I need reviews. No reviews=no motivitation and no motivation=no updates! They help keep on keeping on alright, And if you think I'm taking too long writing a chapter, message me. Sometimes I need a kick in the butt to get going.

I think I covered most of my points so...Review!


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